Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
