I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Help. Why am I so naked?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
