Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
