Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You smell like stripper and shame
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
