I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
