How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
