And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
