If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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