if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
