Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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