So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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