if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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