tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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