i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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