He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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