Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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