No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
