that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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