i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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