id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We named our party play list daddy issues
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
