So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is wine microwaveable?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
