ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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