Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
