Don't you send me to vm
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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