The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have post one night stand depression
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