Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
