you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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