so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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