I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
