who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
