You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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