btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
