booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
