how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
