I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
