I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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