In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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