She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
