We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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