I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
