He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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