Im at strip club and am horny
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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