Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
