So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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