Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
