i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
