Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
