thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
