you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
