I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
4 words: hood of his car
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
