who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
