wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
