Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
